What a summer this has been. Returning to my birth city to care for my aging parents has been a lot more than I imagined it to be. I have been chairing committees, pasturing a congregation and traveling across the country training leaders for over eight years now, and that fast paced lifestyle had become quite a fulfilling way of life for me.
These days however, I find myself sitting at home with my disabled grandparents and trying desperately to find pleasure in our conversations about fresh vegetables and the good old times. I am working on a part time basis now and every fiber of my being is pulling at me to be more productive and to accomplish something spectacular. It has been difficult for me to slow my mind down long enough to patiently and lovingly hear the end of one of their twice told stories
To add to my dilemma, housing here in Maryland is so expensive; that I might have to live with my retired Godmother a lot longer than I had planned. My original plan was to take 6 months to spend some quality time with my family, finish school and think critically about the next phase of my life. While I really want to embrace these sacred days, I honestly don’t know if I will be able to be still for the entire 6 months without taking on more work. Thank God for the Baltimore Presbytery. They have graciously offered me office space twice a week.
When I accepted a call to serve as national staff in Louisville 11 years ago, I prayed for the opportunity to be available to my family when they really needed me. Since I have been away, both my sister and brother have died. That leaves me to care for the aging members of my family and to provide support for the next generation of nieces and nephews.
I am reminded as I surrender more and more to the stillness that God is calling me to, that more quality time with family and friends, more time alone with God, more time to read the Bible and other books without preparing for a workshop or a sermon, the sounds of nature and the view of the sun setting over the Chesapeake Bay, are the very things that my soul has longed for.
I keep reminding myself that this is a sacred season and that seasons change so quickly. This one might not even last for 4 more months. As I live within the tension of who I have become over the past 11 years and how God is transforming me, I am being given the opportunity to rediscover myself outside of what I do and how others perceive me.
Now that I am experiencing the presence of God on the other side of the pulpit, and on the ends of the table instead of at the head, I am rediscovering a part of myself that will not only be able to preach, teach and provide training sessions on spiritual leadership but also model it. Join me each week as I courageously share my day-by-day journey to the place where God is leading me.
Where is God leading you on your spiritual journey? Please consider sharing your inspiring story.
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